How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
