Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize