He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
