I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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