remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
