dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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