How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
