how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
