twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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