so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
