Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
