I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
