So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
