I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
