my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
