Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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