You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
