Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
