I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
