i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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