Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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