Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
