I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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