I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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