i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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