hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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