5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
