There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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