Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
