Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
her facebook's as public as her vagina
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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