so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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