do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
