I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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