Sponge bath it is.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
