Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
