??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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