i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
