im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
