Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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