I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
