38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
