I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
