My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
