Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
