I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
