my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
