all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize