I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
