at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
