Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize