what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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