I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
