They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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