I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
