yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
