I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
