Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
babies were throwing up all over the place
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
