Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
