haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
