Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Please don't give away my fajitas
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
