wanna go halves on a baby?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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