I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
